Monday, July 7

This past week I continued to be sick, to the point that a doctor came to see me last Tuesday. He diagnosed a case of Giardea, which explained the 10 days of intestinal problems, as well as a case of grippe. I still have a cough but am doing much better. Many of the teachers at the school have been sick at one point or another in the past month. The weather is pretty nasty right now; we mostly have clouds and rain with very intermittent sun, and it feels almost impossible to get warm and dry. There has also been a festval in the town spanning two weekends, and even if the teachers don't go, they are kept awake until past 2:00 in the morning by the festivities. Fireworks go off at all hours, and bands play until 4:00am. It should be over today.

I am having one of the culture bumps I am so good at explaining to my students. At this moment I am less thrilled with Guatemala than I have been, and I feel lonely ansd unsettled. I realize that a great part of it is not feeling well yet; I get tired easily and can't walk very far, nor can I concentrate very well. I also feel very betwixt and between - neither a student nor a teacher completely.

However, there are still lovely times. When Cristina came, she brought a copy of PEACE IS EVERY STEP by Thich Nhat Hanh. Rafa ansd I are reading it together for his English lesson, and so I have a daily reminder of the importance of valuing every moment. Today in the Spanish part of our class, I talked with him about my feelings of loneliness and separateness, and he suggested that I use this time to learn to be with myself. Even though he and I have very different life circumstances, we are both working with questions of innner peace, and it is a gift to have him to talk with. In addition, we continue to have remarkable discusssions about language teaching and teacher education and training. I had never imagined that I would have this kind of rich exchange with another teacher, and I feel very blessed for this time with him and with other teachers at the school.

Right now I am sitting in the third floor restaurant of a beautiful hotel around the corner from my new home. I am the only customer, and for 5Q (under $1), I have ordered tea and may sit here as long as I want enjoying the view and the internet connection. The tea came in a wooden box, and I made my choice. It is a foggy early evening, and I can look out over the town and the lake. The view is indescribably beautiful, and I realize in this moment that I am choosing to be alone and a bit lonely.

I have moved, and my new home is snug and warm. I have my own bathroom (What a luxury!) and a shower with hot water. What a luxury! Yesterday I bought vegetables and made a soup. I am eating lots of yogurt to encourage my intestinal flora to return.

Cristina e-mailed earlier to tell me that on her way back to the airport in a private shuttle, she and the driver saw a chicken bus ahead of them go off a cliff. The driver told her that no one would have survived the crash. It is a (not good) sign of my acceptance of life here that my first reaction was, "I'm not surprised." I do have to wonder what it is like for the families of those on the bus to go on after such a common tragedy. Life is so different here...

We have finally cobbled together a schedule of classes. I will be teaching three groups of six - eight teachers in each group one class a week. This is not an ideal schedule but all that we work out given how full the school is. Almost all the teachers are working morning and afternoon at this point, and it will be interesting to see how much energy nthey have.